don't judge me because i don't want kids

Don’t Judge Me Because I Don’t Want Kids

Written by S.W.T.

There I am, legs spread eagle staring at a stupid poster of a beach scene thumb-tacked to the ceilingI don't want kids


As you know, these damn procedures are bad enough without all the desperate small talk the OB-GYN attempts to make while “applying pressure” to your nether regions. This year was exceptionally horrendous. Here’s the thing, I’m in relatively good health. (I could stand to lose a few pounds but, who couldn’t) I have never had “abnormal” results and let’s be honest, the only reason I keep the damn appointment is so I can get my annual prescription of no-baby pills.

So, while my OB-GYN poked around my tits and said “you know you’re not getting any younger. Now would be a good time to talk about family planning. When are you going to have children?” I was visibly annoyed and responded with, “Yes, that’s why I’m here…I’m planning on not having any, so can you please give me my prescription”. She didn’t stop there and continued with the ubiquitous, “You’ll change your mind” in a quite obvious judgmental tone. It was at that point I decided to find a new OB-GYN. Don’t judge me because I don’t want kids.

don't judge me because i don't want kids

Listen, I get it. I’m a married woman in her mid-thirties “When are you going to have kids?” is a one of those questions I expect at this point in my life and Yes! It’s annoying for several reasons but, first and foremost it’s annoying because my procreative choices are none of your goddamn business. The End. That’s all. Bye.

I’m pretty vocal about my decision

I understand why people feel they can chime in and ask more questions, give opinions, or offer advice but my decision is just none of your business. I don’t need to be told what I’ll be missing out on, how I’ll never know true love until I have children of my own, or how I’m still so young that I’ll probably change my mind. Hey, maybe all those things are true or maybe they’re not but, it doesn’t matter. I’ve made a conscious choice and it should be respected. Don’t judge me because I don’t want kids.

I think what bothers me most about the “when are you going to have kids” question is the lack of awareness by those who ask. I’m fortunate to be healthy and I don’t have any diagnosed reproductive issues (that I know of) and while it may seem like a simple enough inquiry, asking it to the wrong person could be hurtful. You do not know the struggles some people may be facing. Someone could be dealing with health issues that make it impossible, or having relationship problems that aren’t publicly known, or under stress and the timing isn’t quite right, or grieving a miscarriage. You. Just. Don’t. Know.

I will say that I never really thought about having kids until I got married

It was just never on my radar. I have nieces, nephews, and Godchildren and I love them all. They are sweet and funny and smart and caring and I love to be around them until I have a headache from the pouting or crying or fighting or not listening or the random stickiness (like, really why are kids always sticky? Where does it come from? What is it?). But, now when I do think about it (and yes, I think about it) there are several reasons why I don’t want kids; it’s a lifestyle choice really. I’m really excited about a lot of stuff I have going on in my life right now and I’m thrilled about all I have planned for the future. Having a child just isn’t one of those things.

That’s not to say I haven’t thought about what my life would be like if I did have kids. I honestly believe that my husband and I would be terrific parents and if we happen to have one of those “Friday night and a bottle of wine oopsies” kids in the future, then…YAY!

But for now I’ll just continue to live my child-free, unfulfilled life

don't judge me because i don't want kids

I’ll continue to plan my next vacation to London, go to the movies on a whim, use the bathroom by myself and spend all my money on beer. Besides, I’m already a mom. My kid just happens to be four-legged and slobbery.

Don’t judge me because I don’t want kids.

dog mom


Share and Enjoy

the truth about cancer

The Truth About Cancer: Part 2

I’m going to backtrack a little bit here

I hadn’t been feeling myself for a very long time. In fact, I had been suffering from migraine headaches almost every single day for over a year. I had avoided doctors for as long as I possibly could. Of course, moms are always too busy to take care of themselves and I always seemed to have an excuse. Truthfully, I was afraid to know. Of course, it was always in the back of my mind but I didn’t want to know the truth about cancer.

Feeling tired and fatigued more than usual, I would see all my friends posting on social media accounts about working out, running, healthy living and having so much energy while I’m over here struggling to get out of my pajamas and feed the kids. I remember thinking “is this what thirty-something feels like? This can’t be right.”

the truth about cancer

At this point, I even sarcastically told a friend, “I feel like I’m dying”

It’s not so funny now, but at the time I looked completely healthy on the outside and even the doctor mentioned that I was probably just feeling “motherhood stress.” It was hard for me to explain my symptoms but I knew I just didn’t feel right. He suggested that I start with routine blood work and go from there.

Dr. F is quite a different character

You know, the type of doctor that is always in a rush and starts talking to you before he even walks through the door. He’s quite the “textbook” doctor who tells it like it is and walks out of the room. Dr. F always left me wondering if he actually answered my questions or if I forgot to even ask. I didn’t care for him much, but he was available and I needed a Doctor so I made that shoe fit. He said my liver levels were ridiculously high and that I needed further testing to rule out Liver Disease and walked out of the room. (Insert WTF moment here!) Naturally, I Googled…What is Liver Disease? Then I freaked out and thought I was dying of Liver Disease.the truth about cancer

An ultrasound of my liver was ordered STAT

As I was laying on the bed, the tech turned her computer screen away from me and seemed to be attending to a certain area of my abdomen. She then started taking a lot of pictures and measurements. I curiously asked if she saw anything. She hesitated and stuttered, “your doctor will have to give you the results.” After the ultrasound was complete, I received a phone call from the clinic while I was leaving the parking lot. They said that Dr. F wanted me to go straight to the imaging center for a CT Scan of my abdomen. I went back inside for the orders. The orders read, CT Scan on abdominal mass. So much for, “your doctor will have to give you the results.”

After the CT Scan, the tech came out of the computer room with her eyes fixated on my abdomen. Her eyebrows were squinted with concern and her face looked like she was in utter disgust or in disbelief of whatever she was seeing on her computer screen. She asked, “does it hurt?” At that point, her eyes were even more fixated as she was trying to figure out how it was even possible to have such a huge mass inside my body. (Remember, I still haven’t been given any “results” yet from Dr. F.) Obviously, at that moment I knew… The Truth About Cancer.

Wait! Let’s back up, again…

I went in with symptoms of headaches and fatigue. What does this have to do with headaches?

Click here to read Part 3

Subscribe HERE to learn more of The Truth About Cancer

The truth about cancerthe truth about cancer

Share and Enjoy

The Amazing Life of a Sarcastic Wife

The Truth About Cancer: Part 1

Okay, so here’s the Truth About Cancer blog

I wasn’t going to do it, but I realize this blog is sarcastically named after my “amazing life” and this is definitely a part of my life. Lately, I’ve had many friends tell me that I should blog about my journey through Cancer. I always smile in agreement that maybe one day I would but it’s taken me a long time to talk about what really happened. It’s taken me a long time to even understand what happened. In fact, no one really knows the horror that went on behind the scenes. Cancer is sad, gross and painful. It’s not funny or sarcastic. Cancer is an asshole and the truth is ugly. No one really wants to hear the truth about cancer. This is The Truth About Cancer: Part 1.

the truth about cancer: part 1

The Truth About Cancer: Part 1

When someone asks, “how are you doing?”

The automatic general response is to always say, “I’m good! How are you?” I know that most people ask how I’m feeling with complete sincerity in their hearts but to this day, I’ve never given an honest answer. No one expects for you to say, “oh I feel like I’m literally dying and the pain, vomiting and diarrhea are unbearable.” It’s really hard to be honest when the truth is so ugly. Most people knew I wasn’t okay just by looking at my 90 pound body, but to get through the small talk I had to come up with my own honest truth. So, if you’ve ever asked me how I’m doing I probably said, “I’m getting stronger everyday.” That was quite truthful and probably the only thing that I could say that was not horrifying and awkward. I wasn’t good or fine but I was getting a little bit stronger with each day past. Plus, that’s what people want to hear anyway… No one wants to hear the truth about cancer.

On September 11, 2015 I was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer.

My exact diagnosis at that time was, “you have a giant tumor in your abdomen. I don’t know what kind and I don’t how long it’s been there but it’s big and it’s probably cancer.” Then he started to choke up and walked out of the room before he lost his composure.  I sat there staring at the wall in disbelief. Disbelief that this was happening. Disbelief that my family would have to go through this and disbelief that there could even be a tumor of such a magnificent size inside my tiny body.

How do I tell my parents? Am I going to die and leave my 7 and 2 year old without a mom? I wasn’t done mothering them. I wasn’t done with life. There was so much more I needed to do… I wasn’t done… And, what about my husband who was sitting next to me in complete terror?

My eyes welled up with tears but I wouldn’t let them fall.

I couldn’t talk or move. My heart was beating through what felt like an empty chest but I couldn’t let him see my emotions. I didn’t want him to think I was weak. If I held back my tears then maybe it wouldn’t be so hard for him. On the way home, he told me it was okay to scream and cry if I wanted, but I refused.

At that moment, I decided that I wasn’t going to fight this battle through pity. I knew I wasn’t the first person to have cancer and I wouldn’t be the last. I wasn’t going to feel sorry for myself and I didn’t want anyone else to either. On the other hand, I did feel sorry. I felt sorry for my family and my friends. It’s not fair to them. It’s not fair that they have to see this and feel this. My heart hurt so bad for them. This is just not fair…

This is the The Truth About Cancer: Part 1Click here for Part 2!

Don’t forget to subscribe to the page for updates in your inbox!

the truth about cancer: part 1

The Truth About Cancer: Part 1


Share and Enjoy

Homemade Pizza

This Homemade Pizza recipe comes from the Diaries of a Picky Eater. AKA my kid!

If there is one thing he would want to eat on a daily basis; it’s pizza! (Of course, it’s pizza with NO cheese because he is the picky eater after all!) He actually ate homemade pizza almost every single day when he was in kindergarten. I couldn’t handle the stress of him starving while he was at school. I packed his lunchbox with pizza because at least I knew he had something he would actually eat and I would save the food battles for dinner time.

homemade pizza from the diaries of a picky eater

I know you want the recipe but first, I had to share this funny video of my daughter making her homemade pizza “with cheeeeese.”

Easy pizza dough for homemade pizza

Easy Pizza Dough Ingredients:

Active Dry Yeast             1 pkg (.25oz)

Granulated Sugar          1 tablespoon

All purpose flour            2 1/2 cupsPicky Eater Stamp of Approval

Salt                                     1 teaspoon

Olive Oil                            2 tablespoons

Water (warm)                  1 cup


Add the yeast, sugar and warm water in a bowl and mix. Allow the yeast time (about 3-4 minutes) to activate and get foamy.

Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees.

Add the flour, oil, salt and stir. If the dough is too sticky; add flour a little bit at a time. If it’s too dry; add a tiny bit of water (about a teaspoon) at a time. Once the dough is to a desired cosistancy, let it rest in a dry warm place. (I wrap mine in a clean dish towel while I get my pizza toppings together.

Roll out the dough on a floured surface.

Bake the dough alone for about 5 minutes (until the dough starts to bubble up) on a baking sheet.

Easy Pizza Dough for Homemade Pizza

Homemade Pizza Directions:

Take it out of the oven and add the toppings of your choice.

Amazing Pasta Sauce, cheese, pepperoni, fresh basil, tomatoes, sausage, jalapenos, peppers, mushrooms, olives etc…

And of course, our mozzarella cheese would be moldy on pizza day! (Sad face emoji) We had to resort to using the “fiesta blend”. And just like that, we created Mexican Pizzas! Not my personal favorite cheese for pizza but it got the job done and for some reason the flavor it was better the next day!

Amazing Pasta Sauce for Homemade Pizza

Once your toppings are on, place the pizza back into the oven (directly on the oven rack for a crispier pizza) for about 8 more minutes. Time will really depend on the thickness of your pizza dough. You will know it is done when the crust becomes golden brown and the cheese is bubbling.

pizza with no cheese for the picky eater

I hope you enjoy this homemade pizza recipe please feel free to like it, share it or pin it! Also, don’t forget to subscribe to the page for more recipes from the Picky Eater!

Share and Enjoy