Am I Raising An Asshole?

Dear Perfect Parents,

You are raising an asshole. I know it’s hard to hear and none of your friends will tell you but it’s true. Is your kid always throwing a raging fit until they get what they want? Are they running your life? Have you ever stopped and asked yourself, “am I raising an asshole?”

Am I Raising An Asshole?

I know that discipline is a touchy subject for a lot of people but lets talk about it anyway. Most people who get offended by this are probably the people raising assholes anyway. People today are terrified to discipline their children. Kids don’t know what consequences are anymore, they are entitled to everything and there are absolutely no boundaries between right and wrong. (Is Your Kid Entitled?) I understand that kids will throw a tantrum every now and then. They push their limits to see how far they can get. They get cranky and emotional when they are hungry or need a nap and that is totally understandable but kids shouldn’t be assholes all day long! How can you even enjoy your kids when they are demanding, bitching and complaining all the time?

Now I know a lot of parents will be offended by my words but the bottom line and my main objective is to remind you that you are raising a human being. That human being will one day be an adult human being and if you allow them to be asshole kids; you’ll have raised an asshole adult.




My mom said it best one day when I told her I was terrified of her when I was a kid. We never wanted to make mom angry! She said, “It wasn’t fear, it’s respect. Kids don’t know the difference but they figure it out. Are you afraid of me now?” The truth is, I completely respect her and yes I am still a little bit frightened by my mother. Her point is this, you have to teach them the difference between right and wrong which they don’t understand yet. However, they do know what they like and don’t like and if a little bit of  fear is the vehicle you need to use in order to teach them consequences; then by all means use it. Absolutely and by no means am I encouraging any kind of abuse here whatsoever! Get that straight!

But seriously, continuously saying, “No, honey. Don’t do that. That’s not nice, sweetheart.” in that soft-mono-toned-non-aggressive voice is quite ineffective, annoying to the general public and your empty threats are a joke. If you threaten to do something, do it. Otherwise, you’re wasting your own time. These kids are running the show and we need to take back the reins! Can you imagine the next generation of a bunch of assholes? People always ask, “What is this world coming to?!” The answer is: A bunch of assholes. The world is coming to a bunch of assholes. Stop it. Seriously, ask yourself, “am I raising an asshole?”

 

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7 Secrets To Wedded Bliss

If you are looking for 7 secrets to wedded bliss; you’ve come to the right place! First, lets get this straight… On the day you say “I do,” you are promising someone that you will love them unconditionally for the rest of your life… Like, forever… That’s so beautiful….So really, by definition of “unconditional love” you are promising that (no matter the circumstances) you will deal with someone else’s bullshit for the rest of your life. Like, forever… Let that soak in for a minute.

unconditional: 

[uhn-kuh n-dishuh-nl]

adjective  

1. not limited by conditionsabsolute : an unconditional promise.

So really, by definition of “unconditional love” you are promising that (no matter the circumstances) you will deal with someone else’s bullshit  for the rest of your life.  Like, forever… Let that soak in for a minute… Your almost ready for the (sarcastic)  7 secrets to wedded bliss!

 

Guys,

This means you are going to have to wait for her to get ready.  And then she’ll get ready again. She’ll change her outfit three times and then she’ll change back into the original outfit she had on an hour ago. Just shut up and deal with it. Then you’ll head out to the same restaurant you’ve gone to every week for the last 10 years and order the same steak and beer, because you both can’t ever agree on a different place to eat. She’ll spend too much money, she’ll forget to pay a bill every now and then and her cooking will probably never be like your mother’s. She’ll get pissed off at you because you’re so damn annoying but just shut up and deal with it.

Waiting on a woman

Girls,

You’re going to have to pick up his shit, wash his underwear, ask him what he wants to eat 80 times a day because he says, “I don’t care.” You’ll make a suggestion and then he really doesn’t feel like eating that.  But he said, “I don’t care” when in fact, he really does care! You’ll watch hunting, fishing, zombie and viking shit on TV every day for the rest of your life…

BUT at the end of the day, you love each other unconditionally and that’s all that matters!

7 Secrets To Wedded Bliss

7 Secrets To Wedded Bliss 

  1. Don’t be an asshole.
  2. Communication is NOT always the key: Sometimes, knowing when to shut the hell up is way more valuable than dragging out an argument.  (Of course, communication is important too!)
  3. Pick your battles: Seriously. Not everything has to be a drawn out argument.  When you start picking your battles, you realize you kinda don’t give a shit as much as you thought you did. Nagging is so annoying that you should be totally annoyed with yourself if you can’t shut the hell up over the little things.
  4. Get over it: If it’s not something that will define the rest of your life together; just get over it.  You will piss each other off but no one is perfect. Don’t expect an apology every time. No one needs to be sorry for their genuine feelings.  Just get over it!
  5. Put up with each other’s bullshit: Like, all of it.  You married it. You deal with it.
  6. Don’t ask me where I want to eat if you are not willing to eat there!
  7. Remember why you love each other: There’s obviously a reason why you wanted to spend the rest of your life together.  Always remember what that reason was and go back to that.  Always go back to that.

 

 




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Road Trip Survival Guide For Kids

 

Road Trip Survival Guide For Kids

 

There was a time in our lives when my hubby and I would take a week long vacation every year in Mexico. The beautiful condos overlooking a breathtaking beach, swimming pools and cabanas were incredible.  Ohhh and the luxuries of a day spa, gym, shopping and restaurants…. Awe, I remember it like it was just yesterday. I miss those days…..

Fast Forward:
Well, six years and two kids later, we have yet to take a vacation. Unless you consider an unbearable 3.5 hour drive to Albuquerque, NM once or twice a year as a “vacation”.
Here’s how that plays out…
The Road Trip:
How can one little girl continuously scream at the top of her lungs for 3.5 hours straight!? (Not even an exaggeration) The other kid is asking, “are we there yet?” every 10 minutes. I ask myself every single time, “WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES!?” By the second hour, my anxiety level is straight through the roof, I can’t breathe, I’m hyperventilating and crying! About the last half hour of the journey the screamer finally falls asleep. I can finally breathe and I’m taking pictures of her sweet sleeping angelic face! (This is my road trip induced Bipolar Disorder)
albuquerque-sign-theamazinglife
And then after a couple of days:
Repeat road trip hell & anxiety-attacked-bipolar episode above.
Fast forward to the present:
So, now we’ve decided to finally take a real family vacation this summer! Woo-hoo! Right? Well not exactly…
We’re DRIVING 8 HOURS to San Antonio with the “screaming machine” and the “are we there yet” broken record.  Wish us luck…
 Road Trip Survival Guide For Kids
Here is the list I’ve  compiled of road trip must haves our family cannot live without.
  (I’ve included a few resource links for your convenience)
  • Snacks-  Lots and lots of snacks!! It’s harder for kids to scream while their mouths are occupied with cookies and fruit snacks.
  • Portable Potty–  Because no one has to go potty until you are 15 miles away from the next rest area!  Double-bag the potty with grocery bags or trash bags for a quicker clean up.
  • Kid Approved Music–  I like to use Kids Bop because we get to hear versions of the popular music we love without the worry of an occasional F-Bomb.
  • DVD Player– Because it shuts everyone up.
  •  Kids Tablets– Because kids cannot live without them these days.
  • Headphones!!– This is a no brainer.  The headphones are so we can enjoy a few minutes of peace and quiet without having to listen to the movie Frozen for the 5 billionth time.
  • Kids Car Seat Trays–  An easier way for kids to eat, drink and do activities without making a huge mess.
  • First Aid Kit with Tylenol & Allergy Meds–  Even if its just a scratch; they won’t stop crying until you put a band aid on it.  Just put a damn band aid on it!!!
  • Hand Sanitizer–  Because germs are gross.
  • Treasure Box–  A box full of new (cheap dollar store) toys!! Every hour they get a surprise from the treasure box which will keep them entertained for at least a few minutes.
  • Smart Support Backpack–   I cannot tell you how many times it has saved my life.  My kids hated being in a stroller.  They would rather be on our back where they can see everything while they are still contained from running like wild animals. Not to mention,  they usually fall asleep quickly without a fuss. I’ve had so many parents ask us where we got it. So here it is!!

Good luck on your family vacations!

If you’ve enjoyed this post please feel free to like it, share it, tweet it or pin it!  Have a great day!

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Laundry Guide To Save Your Sanity

Okay I’ll admit it…

I’m probably the least domestic work-from-home mom you’ll ever meet. In fact, I’m probably the least likely person to give you advice about laundry. So, how did I create this Laundry Guide to Save Your Sanity? Well, quite honestly I’ve had a housekeeper for as long as I can remember and I depend on her as much as I depend on my right arm. I’ve never had to worry about having an uncontrollable mess, dirty dishes or piled up laundry. I knew she would always come to my rescue. That is, until one dreadfully sad, sad, sad day… she quit. Did I mention, sad?

The one thing I miss the most is having our laundry done. How do people do this stuff!? Let me get this rant out of the way… I HATE LAUNDRY!!

(Continue reading to find a Laundry Guide to Save Your Sanity)

laundry guide to save your sanity

So, now I have to come up with a simplified procedure or I give up and drown in this sea of laundry.

Personally, the problem is not getting the laundry washed and dried. It’s getting the laundry put away that is incredibly monotonous. I end up throwing in the towel and leaving the clean clothes in a pile on my bedroom floor.

Best. Wife. Ever… Right?

After, mountains of clothes and many, many unsuccessful trials and miserable failures, I finally found a routine that works for me. Here it is…

Laundry Guide To Save Your SANITY

Divide the clothes into these categories:

Pants
Shirts and Sweaters
Underwear, Socks and Undershirts
Towels and Blankets
Misc

Do not, I repeat, do not throw in one or two shirts with your pants load or vice versa! This may sound ridiculous but trust me, it’s an O.C.D nightmare. You will be thankful in the end. Laundry Guide to Save Your SanityRather than separate by just colors, I find it easier and less chaotic in the end to put away the clothes that are in these categories.

When I get pants out of the drier I lay them out flat in a pile and start placing pant hangers on all of them. Same with the shirts and sweaters. Since underwear, socks and undershirts are all things that need to be folded, they all go in the same load.

I find it easier to get into a faster rhythm if I’m doing all of the same category instead of switching from shirt hangers to pant hangers and folding undershirts in between matching socks. This may not be rocket science but it was a breakthrough for me when the laundry actually started getting put away!

I challenge you to try this Laundry Guide to Save Your Sanity for one week and let me know how it goes!

 If you’ve enjoyed this post please feel free to like it, share it, tweet it or in it! 

Have a great day!

 

 

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